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Monday, January 25, 2010

Cud-Chewing Visionaries

From the Hindu ritual of the honorable bovine master, a firm representation of the giving nature of life, and lastly a sign of mammalian nirvana, a salute to all the cows of the world. Despite centuries of foreign occupation and imperialistic attempts in India, the sacred cow remains highly venerated. Our lactating leathermaker ultimately represents the hallowed principle of motherhood. She symbolizes venerable charity and generosity due to the way she distributes her veritable dairy qualities, vital to the nourishment of the young.

Cattle are a symbol of the whole Earth, the providers of sustenance. These udder-endowed friends are ever generous, giving endlessly of milk — much as the liberated soul gives of spiritual knowledge — while taking nothing for themselves other than grass, grain, and water. The crucial beefer is thus the virtual life-sustainer, emblematic of abundance, grace, and fire-starting. The sacredness anointed to these beasts within some eastern realms is not without cause.

On the other critical end of the spectrum, the splotchy black-and-white vermin's biggest energy contribution is its holy dung. Livestock produce over a billion tons of righteous manure per year. Dung from mooers is distinctive from all other forms of compost, in that the pink-nosed Gateway model's, while not contaminating, possesses mystical antiseptic qualities. Not only is it devoid of all bacteria, it also acts to kill them.

Dung is thereby used for fertilizer for the farmer, and is also utilized for fuel, though often quite lethal. Unlike your basic load of muck, however, the heifer’s version is odorless and burns without scorching, giving a slow, even heat. Consequently, the primitive housewife can leave her pots unattended, returning to cook on a preheated griddle. This surely trumps the golden arches in a Calcutta world.

The vaunted frisbee indeed originated from the cow chip, and we symbolically toss it upward to the skies as a way to scale new levels of our existence, precariously flirting with our destiny via unassuming recreational pursuits. A continual theme whispering it’s not to be taken lightly.

The likes of Freud may have alluded that man would aspire for mechanical bull sessions in an attempt to attain the heights known only to these worshiped cheeseburgers-in-waiting, for we have to conquer that which we would aspire for, to prove we are its equal... if only for that fleeting eight seconds of glory. The bovine master’s gyrations are emulated, revealing where it is that we need to adjust in order to maintain congruence.

Essentially a crude yet serpentine way of addressing the oft-cited but rarely explored mystery of what constitutes rusted ruminations, and where such things are headed. And while it can’t rightly be conveyed ipso facto, let alone through any other Latin idiom, a continued attempt can be made to demonstrate contextually, because it avoids the paperwork. As we embark on this new decade because years come in tens, we’ll take with confidence the lessons of these moo-cows with us into the vast great unknown of yet more cryptic years beginning with the number ‘2’, and graze on what it is that we know.

As a consequence of said phenomena, every year devotees will drive their sanctified Taurus to the annual bovine rites at San Francisco’s Cow Palace, paying tribute to those splendid cream makers in the sky. And thus for the uninitiated, it bears repeating the posting found herein follows in the cattle-infested philosophies espoused by Mohandas Gandhi, demonstrating that fertilizer can be surprisingly effective when used properly.


Anonymous said...

Rusty- I always enjoy your creativity and wit. Enjoy reading your posts. Doug.

BTW, thanks for having Kasmir on your playlist. One of my top 10 of all time!

Jeff Crandall said...

Divine bovine! Holy cow that was good. Utter delight! Not pasture other posts as all are over the mooooon but it definitely takes the cheese! You have such a cowmand of the language. It flows like butter! There is so much here to digest, and digest, digest, digest, digest, digest, and digest. Roan wasn't built in a day, you know so keep churning these out!

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